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  • August 24, 2016

    A Girls Guide to dealing with rejection

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    We have all been there girls, whether it has been that what’s app message you received from your boyfriend of 6 months telling you that you have been dumped or when you have gone for the 100th job interview to then receive another phone call saying ‘You interviewed very well but you are just not what we are looking for’.

    Everybody at some point in their life will face rejection, multiple times and no matter how many times you have faced rejection it still hurts! Trust me it kills…

    But we need to toughen up ladies because every rejection should make us stronger. For me, focusing on my business full time has meant that I have experienced a 1000% surge in rejection-after sending off proposal after proposal,  I get it all the time and sometimes you don’t even get a phone call or an email…just silence and then you know ‘Its a no from me’ LOL

    But seriously, in all difficult situations I love to learn the lessons they are there to teach me and in the second article of my ‘Girls Guide’ series I would like to share with you some of my tricks for getting over rejection fast  so you can move on to your next blessing!

    Someone’s opinion of you does not have to be your reality
    When you face rejection in whatever form, all it really is, is somebody’s opinion. It is not a fact. So if someone thinks you are not good enough then that is their problem and not yours. Sometimes we place so much emphasis on what other people think of us rather than what we think about ourselves.

    Do you think you are fabulous?

    Do you think you kill it at your job every time?

    Do you think you are a great leader?

    If the answer is a yes, then if someone does not agree, they are mistaken, they don’t know any better and trust me they will soon find out that they were wrong! It is not your problem.

    Get some feedback
    OK so there are times when you need to improve on something, I mean we are all not perfect. So if you haven’t been successful at an interview or a pitch for funding for example, always ask for some feedback and reasons why you were not successful. Every decent and credible employer is required to give every candidate feedback on their interview. Digest the feedback and reflect and decide if there are certain elements which you feel deep down you can take away and learn a lesson. So that next time if the same situation occurs you won’t make the same mistake. Feedback is great but like anything in life you take what you feel is useful to help you improve.

    All you need is one yes
    Whether you are looking for a new job or a new boyfriend or girlfriend, remember you really only need one yes. So remember even if you keep getting rejection after rejection, that at the end of it all you only need one yes to change your life-so keep going at it.

    Never Give up and prove them wrong

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    People make mistakes and miss out on amazing talent who could be you. Don’t take it personal when someone rejects you because it does not mean that you are not great at what you do or are not an amazing person. Wherever the rejection is coming from, just remember that they are missing out and not everyone knows what they are talking about. Use their rejection as fuel to prove them wrong!

    Take X-Factor/American Idol Mogul, Simon Cowell as an example, he famously said in 2008 that Beyoncé was “Not sexy, she hasn’t got a great body and she’s not a great singer.

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    *Shock* *Jaw is all the way to the floor*

    Can you imagine if Beyoncé actually believed this fool? This is the perfect example of someone who is Senior in the music industry but clearly has no clue  what he is talking about sometimes- as Beyoncé is one of if not THE biggest & most successful singer (alive) right now.

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    Sticking with the whole Beyoncé theme, she appeared with her group Destiny’s Child on a 1993 episode of “Star Search” (X Factor type show) and lost to a group- Skeleton Crew. Can you imagine if she gave up and thought ‘I am not good enough’ ? She would have never gone on to sell over 160 million records worldwide!

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    J.K. Rowling, the famous Author of the Harry Potter franchise was a divorced singled mother on benefits whose manuscript for the popular series was rejected by multiple publishers. She kept persevering and has now gone on to become a billionaire- she is richer than the Queen!

    Never, ever give up. 

    Refuse to fail
    This for me is the most important lesson that I want you all to take away from this article. No matter how many times people tell you no or that you are not good enough, find the strength deep inside yourself to refuse to fail. Stick at whatever it is that you love or want to do and have this conviction that you will not fail at it. Whether it takes you 10 months or 10 years- refuse to fail at what your heart desires. Success is a long and painful journey with many rejections along the way but try your best to dust yourself off and keep going. Rejection does not mean you have failed it is like a speed bump on your road to success and you have to keep on driving toward your destination.

    Founder, Vanessa Sanyauke

    Follow Vanessa on @vanessasanyauke

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