May 16, 2016

Living with anxiety

Sweat trickles down my back and down my legs; my heartbeat speeds up so fast I swear it will jump out of my mouth onto the table. I am positive everyone in the room is staring and wondering what’s wrong with me. My muscles feel tense, and flushed heat creeps up the sides of my cheeks. I feel every pair of eyes on me in the room; I pray the meeting is going to finish shortly.

Does this situation sound familiar? Are these feelings you experience regularly in certain situations? This is what anxiety used to feel like for me every time I had to go into a big meeting at work and every time I got onto the tube when I first moved to London.

Anxiety symptoms manifest themselves physically in lots of different ways including the symptoms above; others include dizziness, palpitations and shaking. Psychologically it can make you feel like you are going to lose control or go ‘mad’ or even the feeling like you may die.

More acceptable

According to the charity Mind, 1 in 4 in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year and in 2009 the last published household survey showed that 4.7 people out of 100 suffer from anxiety. Society has become much more informed and aware about mental health illnesses. Anxiety and anxiety disorders are seen by many to be at the more acceptable end of the spectrum of mental health issues.

Speaking with Jacqueline Hurst, a clinical hypnotherapist and master life coach, 80% of her client base comes to her seeking support with anxiety type disorders. Her clients are both genders, all ages, and all backgrounds; from high performing executives who run banks to full-time parents.

Mental health clearly doesn’t discriminate and even though it is widely reported that women are more likely to experience anxiety than men, Nicky Lidbetter, Chief Executive of Anxiety UK says in their experience women feature more in the statistics possibly because they are more likely to seek help and may also feel more comfortable in general discussing issues such as anxiety.

Visible role models

I suffered with feelings of anxiety from adolescence but it really manifested itself when I first started my career in 1998, although it took seven years for me to first seek professional help – I just wanted to feel ‘normal’ and acknowledging it was a relief and made it feel like a real illness.

Nicky says often it takes people time to realise what they are experiencing is a condition in its own right and not just them or their personality. We have more visible mental health role models in the media like Ruby Wax, but Nicky says there are still many professions and occupations where those that have anxiety conditions feel unable to disclose their condition for fear of negative repercussion, “stigma therefore and discrimination is still very much alive and kicking”.

Avoidance strategies

Anxiety sufferers will use avoidance strategies to cope and I had my own rituals to avoid the situations or feelings I described earlier, eventually realising this was no way to live my life. Jacqueline says one of the biggest things she hears from her clients is that “you would never know that I am suffering with this”. I was very much of this category as a Director on the board of a company, and extremely good at ‘putting my face straight’ as I called it, before a complete breakdown resulting in my GP insisting I take time off work and undergo counselling.

Nicky advises there are many signs an employer can be aware of when supporting their employees who are experiencing stress in the workplace including difficulties with concentration, irritability and changes in behaviour in general including tearfulness or avoiding undertaking tasks.

Jacqueline advises her approach with every client is individualistic and specific, what works for one individual will not necessarily work for another. My treatment over the years has included two types of hypnotherapy which worked for me on a more superficial level, in the end I found the counselling and coaching I received last year more effective in getting to the root causes of my anxiety disorder.

Anxiety UK always recommends anyone who believes they may be living with an anxiety related condition should make an appointment to see their GP. They also have a compiled the ‘Caregivers Guide to Anxiety’, which is handy resource booklet on anxiety so family, friends or colleagues can provide you with support. Jacqueline’s final word really resonated with me and is how I would advise a friend who feels they are going through this; talk to someone and research into it, understand that you are not alone in this and finally it can be sorted out.

Ruth Cooper-Dickson

@ruthiecoops