• August 13, 2015

    How to have a good relationship

    Bad relationships, we’ve all been there. From friends to family, from dating to long-term commitments, relationships are not without their difficulties, but it’s because we know they’re worth keeping that we work them out.

    So what makes a good relationship?  Research points to there being several key things that women always point to as signs that their relationship is ‘good’:

    * Feeling supported

    * Feeling equal to their partner

    * Feeling that there was a friendship that went beyond the sexual relationship they had

    However, the most interesting thing to come out of the research was that a relationship could have all the top three key ‘good’ things and still break down and that relationships that included ‘bad’ elements could be turned around by viewing things in a different way.

    You can choose to either love or fear anything and everything that crops up along the road to long term commitment and this overall choice is a defining factor in whether it will last or not.

    There will, of course, be times of course when you don’t love an aspect of your relationship, but what matters is whether overall you choose to love instead of fear.

    For example your partner is not very supportive of your new business idea; they fear it may leave you short of money, that it might change the amount of time you spend together, or that it may ruin what you have because of the strain of change.

    Your partner comes at the idea from a place of fear, your relationship choice now is to either meet that fear with your own fear and perhaps feel angry, rejected, unsupported and alone; make a choice to leave the relationship; walk away from your dreams of running  your own business, or you can meet the fear with love.

    By doing this you can talk through the options until you find something that you both feel comfortable with, whatever that may be. As long as for the majority of the time you’re both choosing love over fear in the relationship the rest matters very little when it comes to defining whether a relationship is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or whether it will last.

    The only choice that you need to consistently make is to love – to love yourself, your partner and the relationship that you have created. When the time comes that you no longer want to love consistently it is time to either leave or to seek understanding as to why you are fearful and to make the choice to love consistently again.

    Nova Woodrow


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