August 18, 2015
Keep calm and plan your wedding part 1: How to enjoy your engagement
If you’re reading this and you’re engaged, then congratulations! If you’re reading for a friend, then they are super lucky to have you. If you just fancied a read then I hope you enjoy it (and maybe even remember these tips for yourself or a friend in the future).
Throughout the next couple of months I’ll be posting about my experiences planning my wedding BUT instead of talking colour schemes, flowers and table plans, I’ll be looking at the things no-one talks about, by which I mean mainly how hard it is to work full-time, liaise with photographers, heck, even find photographers, how you keep everyone happy on the phone on your lunch break and the dilemma of just how much information about your special day should you share with your work colleagues?
First up though, I want to give you some advice that you might find laughable because it seems so flippin’ obvious: enjoy your engagement! You might be thinking ‘well, of course I’m going to enjoy my engagement – what’s not to enjoy?’. Don’t get me wrong, there is loads to enjoy and my fiance and I spent at least the first week grinning like cheshire cats, but it doesn’t take long for the questions to set in: have you set a date? Have you chosen a venue? You should book a venue soon or you won’t get your preferred date. You can’t get married then because Aunt Flo might be on holiday etc etc etc. It takes about a week for you to become immersed in a kind of panic you’ve never known: you’ve set your own deadline and already people are telling you, you’ll miss it.
I first knew I had to calm down when I despaired that all the wedding fairs I wanted to go to (read: the first ones I came across and convinced myself I should attend) were on the same weekend I was going to a wedding. Yes, I despaired at not being able to go to a wedding fair. We each have unreasonable moments in life and the moment I got stresssed about wedding fairs less than a month after getting engaged was when I knew I’d reached mine.
So what can you do to combat this seemingly never-ending stream of questions and go back to being crazy happy in love and staring so hard at that diamond your eyes go funny? Well, I’d say start from the moment you get engaged. For the first hour after I’d said yes, neither set of parents answered their phones and as frustrating as it was at the time, it was so nice to have that time when just us two knew. When there was just us two to talk about our future and to realise what this meant. I’d recommend giving yourselves an h0ur to savour and enjoy the special moment you’ve just experienced. Take it in. Laugh, cry, kiss. Enjoy it.
Then tell everyone, but either in person or over the phone. I didn’t post anything on Facebook until four days later (when my best friend begged me to let her post a picture of us together, ring in full view) so that when I did tell everyone, I could either see or hear their excitement and happiness and I could get excited all over again reliving the proposal and describing the ring. It keeps the enjoyment fresh and buzzing.
Then, when everybody does know and the phone won’t stop ringing with ideas and all the bridal magazines blend into one and the costs are mounting up, STOP. Stop and recap, together. Ask yourselves, what’s the most important thing about our wedding day? Your first answer should be the actual act of getting married. If it becomes ‘a 7 tier cake in every shade from pink to white made by the geniuses at Choccywoccydoodah’ then you’ve got a problem.
Because despite what You and Your Wedding and Pinterest would have you believe, it isn’t about anything but you two. And (if all goes well) it’ll only happen once, so for goodness sake, enjoy it!
Photo credit: NGDPhotoworks via Pixabay