Vanessa

Three ways women can stop doubting themselves

Posted on by Vanessa

“Why are you writing this article?”

‘The editor isn’t even going to like it”

“No one will read it.”

‘You should just stop now because you are wasting your time.’ 

These were some of the thoughts that ran through my mind recently when I started to write my first piece for Girls Talk London. I am pretty sure, I can’t be the only person whose negative inner voice creeps up on them whenever you face a new situation that puts you out of your comfort zone.

According to leadership expert Erica Anderson “Women, I have come to believe after having thousands of conversations on this topic over the past 30 years, tend to be much more self-critical than men – and that really gets in their way when it comes to accomplishing all they’re capable of doing at work.”

Reflecting on what Erica discovered, it made me think about how I have managed to silence the negative voice in my head and go for new challenges.

What’s the worst that can happen?
Ask yourself this question as soon as the nagging doubts start creeping in. Then write down the answers:

“The editor says no to your article and that it’s rubbish”

“You don’t get an interview for the job”

” Someone laughs at your outfit”

Now ask yourself this question :

“Will this matter in 5 years time”.

I bet the answer will most likely be no. So go for it!

Will I regret not doing this?
If you answered yes then you know you have to try.  I once completely embarrassed myself asking a really good looking bar man out in Belfast by seductively (or so I thought) sliding my phone number across the bar. He turned me down but I’m glad I asked and I didn’t regret it. The thought of wondering what would have happened is far worse than the rejection I faced-at least I have a mildly humorous story to tell my friends now!

Remember every successful person started from the bottom

Every successful person that we see in the media has started from the bottom. Look at Jennifer Lopez  for example who spent many years as a back-up dancer in multiple low budget music videos back in the 90’s and look at her now!
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Imagine if she thought to herself, ‘I shouldn’t do this because I’ll look silly’ would she have made the connections in the industry to get better jobs and eventually catch her big break? Absolutely not! She knew that she had to take every opportunity that came her way and to silence her inner doubt.  According to Forbes 2016, her earnings were $39.5 million dollars. You go J-Lo!

So next time you tell yourself you shouldn’t do something ask yourself these questions, take a deep breath and go for it!

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Eileen Donaghey

Follow Eileen on Twitter @ayoungmarketer

Image Credits: http://giphy.com/gifs/mc-hammer-theatre-musicals-NOzsgvTOfRbPO

 

 

London Fashion Week 2016: The lowdown

Posted on by Vanessa

London Fashion week has officially kicked off this morning and we want to give you a taster of what to expect from the week ahead. London Fashion Week has always been an inspiring and edgy event to get our fashion motors going for the year ahead.

This time around the first show kicked off this morning with Teatum Jones, whose background in textiles literally explodes in each and every design. We’ve taken the looks from the first show of each day to bring you a taster of the style at its peak for Autumn 2016

Friday 16th September 2016-Teatum Jones

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Catherine Teatum and Rob Jones are the designers of London based womens wear brand Teatum Jones; a label which has become recognised for its modern, polished and bold aesthetics.

Saturday 17th September-Jasper Conran

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Jasper Conran is a British designer who trained at Parson’s School of Design in New York. He produced his first womenswear collection in 1978 and was a founding member of the London Designer Collections – subsequently renamed London Fashion Week – where he continues to show to this day

Sunday 18th September-Margaret Howell

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Margaret Howell is a contemporary British clothing designer who has worked successfully in men’s and women’s clothing. Howell has been a strong, if quiet, presence in British design for over four decades.

Monday 19th September-Antonio Berardi

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Antonio studied at London’s prestigious Central Saint Martins College of Art & Design while working as John Galliano’s assistant. His final year collection in 1994 created a splash, attracting the attention of key London buyers including those from Liberty and A La Mode. He launched his first professional collection the following season.

Tuesday 20th September-Amanda Wakely

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Amanda Wakely is best known for her glamorous evening and cocktail dresses, accessories, and for her “clean glam” signature style, Amanda Wakeley has also developed a strong and rapidly growing presence in daywear, including chic day-dresses, impeccable tailoring and knitwear and a well-edited, but expanding line of accessories and fine jewellery.

Some designers will be streaming their shows live online.

To check out the full schedule for London Fashion Week Click Here

Elizabeth Thomas

Check out her styling service here

Five ways to deal with redundancy

Posted on by Vanessa

Redundancy used to be a word reserved for our parents. A big, scary, looming word that you knew was bad but that wasn’t your problem- until you were at least maybe 40 and knew how to cope with it. Unfortunately most challenges don’t arrive when we’re ready and as technology improves and the job market continues to struggle, redundancy is becoming an increasingly familiar concept for women in our generation.

I was hit by redundancy a month into a brand new job, in the first full-time role I had out of university and it completely floored me. There are women I know that have been made redundant more than once before they hit 25 and others that feel like it is a constant spectre hanging over them. If redundancy is on the horizon for you here are my five top tips to get you through it:

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1. Get educated
This is the big one. Most people don’t imagine they will be made redundant when they accept the offer on their exciting new job and so they have no idea what their legal rights are. This was me, a year ago and I quickly had to school myself on what money and notice I was owed by the company I was working for. Both of these variables are based on the length of time for which you have worked for the company. It’s worth visiting www.gov.uk as it provides the statutory minimum notice period and a calculator for working out how much money you are owed based on your age and length of employment.

You are also entitled to a consultation period; this varies in length depending on the number of people being made redundant in your company. It is an opportunity for your company to explain the redundancy to you and for both parties to consider alternatives to your dismissal. It sounds complicated but once you have the right information you can be confident when liaising with your employer.

2. Sort out your finances
Perhaps you have thousands of pounds saved in the bank, or generous parents who don’t mind helping you out, but you could also be scraping through to the end of each month in your overdraft. Either way it’s important to be really, painfully honest with yourself about what not having a job in the immediate future means for you. For me it meant I wasn’t sure if I could pay my rent, so I gave my landlord my notice and sofa-surfed for a few weeks. Work out what you need to do and where you need to be to make this work for you.

Remember that the UK has a brilliant benefit system created for situations just like this, apply for Job Seekers Allowance as soon as possible (as it can take a while to get sorted) if you need some cash to see you through.

3. Secure a written reference
References are always important and very often a sudden departure from a position looks suspicious to a new employer. It can be difficult to pin down line managers and heads of department if redundancies are company-wide so make sure you request a written reference from your HR team. It should state that you were made redundant through no fault of your own and comment on your performance up until that point. You can take this letter to interviews in the coming weeks to ensure them you are reliable and great at your job.

4. Start job hunting
When you’re comfortable in a role or if you’ve just got a job you’re probably not thinking about your next move and you might not be ready to apply for new positions. Time is of the essence after a redundancy, you’ll need to update your LinkedIn profile and CV, tidy up your social media presence, get on recruitment sites and start reaching out to contacts you may have made in your industry. This may feel embarrassing or cheeky but this is one of the few situations in which people will really empathise with you and want to help so utilise every option you have.

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5. Let yourself be sad
Getting motivated and staying focused during the post-redundancy period is key, but it’s also important to remember that something really crappy is happening to you. It’s likely that you worked really hard to secure a role and make it your own only to have it swiped out from under your feet. Take some time out to be disappointed and frustrated and have a good cry if needs be. Redundancy is one of those unexpected bumps in the road when you’ll need the support of good family and friends, and possibly a nice bottle of Pinot Grigio!

Sarah Power

Follow Sarah on Twitter @SarahKPower

How to dress like the 6 most powerful women in the world

Posted on by Vanessa

Every year Forbes Magazine releases their annual powerful women in the world list and it doesn’t just give us an insight into the creative and disciplined minds of the famous and successful, it also gives us an opportunity to take our style to another level. Some of the most powerful women on this planet know how to rock it and we can do the same.

1. Michelle Obama

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Starting with our most hip first lady, Michelle Obama, has proved that being the first lady never means hiding behind your man. She brings life to every area that she believes in and in this particular shot it shows her looking cool but still rocking her power.

M&S have a satin ruffle and paired with a combat black tapered trousers from River Island your look can be as powerful as they come.

http://www.marksandspencer.com/long-sleeve-satin-ruffle-blouse/p/p22466849?prevPage=plp&pdpredirect

http://www.riverisland.com/women/trousers–leggings/tapered-trousers/black-soft-tie-tapered-trousers-690293

2. Beyonce

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Second on our list is Beyoncé. This lovely lady has the voice of an angel but when it comes to making the right deals she is a knock off the old block…and the new one!! Her Asymmetric dress is power savvy and we’ve found a figure hugging dress on ASOS that’s not just sexy but has an elegance Beyoncé herself would be proud of.

http://www.asos.com/Lipsy/Lipsy-Slinky-Cami-Strap-Asymmetric-Dress-With-Wrap-Front/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=6248806&r=2

3. Arianna Huffington

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Third is Arianna Huffington, she is not just the founder of the Huffington Post but she is also the editor-in-chief. Her style is feminine and mostly formal. This look is so cute and we’ve found similar trousers with a hint of pink from ASOS and top from Reiss.

http://www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Premium-Cigarette-Trousers-In-Jacquard-Co-ord/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=56899
02&affid=14173&channelref=product+search&mk=abc&currencyid=1&gclid=CNLD7pa5-84CFRE8GwodINQHIw

https://www.reiss.com/p/lace-top-womens-mitsy-in-off-white/?category_id=12422

4. Oprah Winfrey

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In fourth place we have Oprah Winfrey. Now come on, what has she NOT done!!! Her middle name should literally be inspiration and were are happy to run with Oprah’s wardrobe, especially from those award shows. She wears it well. Roberto Cavalli gives us this look with the sexy addition of slits up the side just for fun, but if the budget is a tad shorter Miss Selfridge has a knitted body-con look that is just as fab for less.

http://www.farfetch.com/uk/shopping/women/roberto-cavalli-cold-shoulder-cut-out-dress-item-11501683.aspx

http://www.missselfridge.com/en/msuk/product/dress-shop-299048/view-all-299126/knitted-black-cold-shoulder-dress-5773403?bi=60&ps=20

5. Anna Wintour

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Fifth position goes to Anna Wintour who strikes a pose with every stride she takes. Fashion’s Queen, she is the editor-in-chief of Vogue USA and artistic director for Conde Nast. We have a gorgeous and striking dress from New Look that just wins with its velvet appeal

http://www.newlook.com/shop/womens/dresses/black-velvet-floral-print-v-neck-skater-dress-_388177409

6. Melinda Gates

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At sixth place, we have Melinda Gates who has dominated in Philanthropy and global development giving away more than $4.2 billion. She is a force to be reckoned with. We picked out this divine piece from Ted Baker that compliments her choice but adds a flirty element to the hem.

http://www.tedbaker.com/uk/Womens/Clothing/Dresses/DEMORE-Pleated-textured-dress-Bright-Red/p/128983-42-BRIGHT-RED

Check out the full power list here: http://www.forbes.com/power-women/

Elizabeth Thomas

Check out her styling service here: http://www.threeroses.me/

 

Five ways to never give up

Posted on by Vanessa

How many times have you said “I got bored” or  “I’ll do it tomorrow”? I am sure those words have slipped your tongue many times this year.  When you are going through a difficult time at work for example on a project or are getting settled into a new job role or trying to loose weight you may find this longing urge to quit when times get hard.

It may be a survival instinct, to help guide us to safety, but quitting has never led anyone to success.

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1. Awareness
Whether your goal is to walk up those stairs at work or to hike through the Scottish highlands (both sounding the same, at this moment). To achieve your target; you must have a clear understanding of what you want to accomplish. When we do not completely know what we want, we tend to give up. Make sure that your goal is simple but detailed.What you want to achieve should never be vague and you should allow yourself to change and mould your ideas.

2. Plan
Once you’ve figured out what you want, you must know how you plan to achieve it. Get yourself a pen and paper and write down bullet points on how you will reach this goal. Your plan is what will include the detail; for example, the goal can be to cook rice which is simple but the plan must include what kind of rice, the amount of rice, how you will cook the rice, and so on.

3. Practice makes perfect
Make not giving up part of our daily routine and try to not give up on small activities for example try jogging a little longer, not eating that piece of cake or finishing puzzles such as Sudoku. This will train your mind to give up less as endorphins will be released when you realise that you haven’t given up.

4. Passion
Passion can be very helpful. When you have passion for what you are doing it can make it easier to battle through hard times. Passion can also make the journey more enjoyable and worthwhile.

5. Self-Discipline
Giving up has much to do with our self-control. When we lack discipline we find ourselves walking down an alleyway to quitting. To improve self-discipline starting a sport can help; Sports teach determination, improvement, and self-discipline along with much more. If like me, you’d much rather be on the couch watching the new episode of Power then you can teach yourself self-discipline in other ways. For example, you can remove temptations, eat healthily and treat yourself when you have self disciplined. Teaching yourself self-discipline will need repetition and practice but it will make persistence easier.

On your inevitable road to success, remember to enjoy it. The enjoyment of the journey will make it easier.

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But mostly important please remember to ‘NEVER, EVER, GIVE UP’

Marta Feseha

Header image photo credit (http://www.afuchan.com/)

Photo credits: (fyspringfield.com) (www.reactiongifs.com)

Three things I learnt during my social media detox

Posted on by Vanessa

social media detox

(Photo Credit: http://bit.ly/2bS63DZ)

I recently went on a social media detox for 2 months. This meant I deactivated all of my social accounts apart from  my work related Twitter!

Social media is great for sourcing information, inspiration and also for connecting with loved ones who either live far away or in another country and not to mention it is wonderful for establishing and maintaining  business contacts.

However I have to admit, I struggle with keeping updated on what is happening across all of my social media accounts. I found that I was constantly distracted by constant notifications or even FOMO (fear of missing out).

So, I decided to do the unthinkable and stop sharing my personal moments (except for my professional ones) and go on a social media detox.

The good news is I survived! Yay! Most, surprisingly I gained a lot from my experience and the three main lessons I learned were:

Being Present in the momenteckhart tolle

(Photo Credit: https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/242983342372918580/)

I became present with the people around me. I was able to build much deeper relationships because I didn’t feel the need to post my every move. I could enjoy the moment and actually be present without constantly checking my phone or posing for the next pic to upload. Have you ever been out with a group of friends, and rather than talking to each other, everyone is checking their phones and busy posting away? We can sometimes fail to connect with others as we are too busy connecting with the online world. Being present with my loved ones felt so rewarding and it reminded me that our main purpose as humans on earth is to cultivate deeper and authentic relationships.

Focus

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(Photo Credit: http://bit.ly/2bS3CRL)

I was able to think clearly about who I am and where I want to be without  any external influence. If you are anything like me you can get social media envy from time to time. If you are not careful, you may even end up making decisions based on what everyone else is doing. Whilst on the detox, I experienced great clarity with identifying and setting my personal goals and was also able to focus on doing things that will help me to become a better woman such as reading, journaling, learning new things for my business and taking long walks.

Increased productivity

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(Photo Credit: http://bit.ly/2bS3n9t)

I realised that I was able to be more productive and suddenly time felt like it was on my side! I managed to tick off all the tasks on my personal to do list because I was not busy scrolling through Instagram! My increase in productivity meant that I am now a few more steps closer to achieving my goals and dreams.

I would definitely recommend a social media detox even if you do it for a day, a week or even a month, I promise you it is well worth it! Give it a try and let me know how you get on by tweeting me on @epicawesomelife 

Amaka Uche

Follow Amaka on Twitter on @epicawesomelife 

Feature Image Credit: http://bit.ly/2chKkor