The books that changed my life

Developing a habit of reading on a regular basis is great for you. A book can help you deal with stress, relax and you can understand the world more. Most importantly reading can give you great knowledge, wisdom and insight that will help you think of yourself and the world from a different perspective and assist you in having a better life and career.

We asked some of our friends what books have changed their lives, in the hope they may do the same for you.

Yazmin Joy Vigus, Founder of aliljoy.com

Little Women – Louisa May Alcott

I read Little Women at university and fell in-love with the March sisters and Jo’s rites of passage. From when she cuts off her hair to when she moves to New York to follow her dream of being a writer, however much a cliche, Jo March will forever be my literary hero.

The Odyssey – Homer

Don’t be put off by the ‘epic’-ness of The Odyssey. A fantastic read following the hero Odysseus on his voyage back home after the Trojan war. Fantasy, love and action – it has it all! Can someone make this into a movie already!? This is where the roots of story, as we know it, all began. This book ignited my passion for storytelling. Advice: unless you’re particularly passionate about poetry opt for the prose version.

Kathy Smart, Business Development Manager-Task Squad, vInspired

The Secret Garden –Frances Hodgson Burnett

‘This book taught me that the heroine doesn’t always have to be ‘good’.
I’m a big fan of Frances Hodgson Burnett, and as a child read her tale of ‘A Little Princess’ so many times the book fell apart and had to be held together with sellotape. Although I loved the story, I was always troubled by how ‘good’ the main protagonist Sara was. Even at a young age I knew full well I could never live up to such standards and worried that this meant I wouldn’t be entitled to a happy ending, certainly not in the way Sara, Cinderella and Princess Aurora were. Thankfully one day I was given a new book, The Secret Garden. Mary is a difficult, spoilt, angry and obnoxious little girl, yet she still gets to be the heroine. In the story she develops friendships, has adventures and changes a young man’s future. Naturally she grows and changes but at no point does she suddenly become self-sacrificing, graceful and demure. She becomes happy, and uses her strength and determination to motivate others. As an obstinate little girl myself I remember being so relieved, realising that maybe it was ok to be boisterous, and that being competitive and energetic didn’t necessarily eliminate my chances of a happy ending. If Mary Lennox could do it then so could I. I whole heartedly recommend this book to every stubborn little princess who knows her happy ending will involve being herself.

Kelly Dolan, Communications and Social Commerce Specialist, UK Trade and Investment

Rich Dad, Poor Dad-Robert Kiyosaki

This book is a really easy read with lots of anecdotes and examples on how to manage your money better. I really enjoy hearing ‘rags to riches’ stories from entrepreneurs like Robert, where they openly share their mistakes, what they learnt on the way and how you can avoid them yourself. I would definitely recommend this book for young people who haven’t necessarily been taught how to manage their money and want an easy, crash course in doing to help ensure success.

Nile Valley Contributions to Civilization (Exploding the Myths)- Anthony T. Browder

I came across this book when I was researching for my Dissertation and it completely blew my mind. As a child I was fascinated by history (and still am!) but never understood why at school our knowledge of African and Caribbean history was limited to the Slave Trade and Civil Rights Movement. This provides a fascinating insight into the history of Africa and its impact on wider civilisation as we know it, with images and examples throughout.

Harveen Chugh, Consultant and Managing Director, VIS-3

Lean In-Sheryl Sandberg

This really inspired me and I think I’ve recommended it to almost every female I know! It helped me understand what being a feminist means and how we all (males and females) have a responsibility to support rather than compete with each other in the workplace. It also highlighted the importance of how women carry themselves in meetings and how you project yourselves to colleagues such as in discussing a payrise, or even that going on a date after work is just as important as someone going to pick up their children(!) Even though some women disagree with parts of the book, I think everyone can find something relatable and inspiring from the book.

The Rainmaker-John Grisham

I read this is in my summer holidays after finishing secondary school. Aside from the books we had to read for school, I was not into reading much, but it was such a page-turner that it changed my perception of what a good book could be. It led me straight into a summer of reading and I think I went through at least 20 books over the holidays!

Remi Ray, Founder of Remi Ray

The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho 
The book has so much depth to each element and an unspeakable truth that only when you are tapped into a focused mind-set – can you truly understand each teaching carefully concealed in the text.

Stephanie Bolton, Lifestyle Editor, Girls Talk London

Refugee Boy-Benjamin Zephaniah

Refugee Boy didn’t so much change my life as shape it. I read this book when I was a teenager and it shaped the way I view refugees. The focus is on Alem Kelo, a 14-year-old refugee from Ethiopia and Eritrea and details him and his family’s struggles in their homeland and their bid for asylum in the UK. It’s eye-opening, heart-wrenching and despairing. I’m glad I read this book when I did – before I even really knew what refugees were – because it means that ever since I’ve heard the word, I’ve always been filled with the deepest sympathies for anyone in that situation.Despite having read this book at least a decade ago and only once, I’ve recalled it often lately because of the current refugee crisis – this book never leaves you and rightly so.

How to be a woman-Caitlyn Moran

Moran’s book changed my life by getting me to question how I saw being a woman and all it entails, from why I dress the way I do to my hair removal habits and my relationships. Most importantly though, Moran changed my view (and I think a generation’s) on what it means to be a feminist; we might have the vote, but there’s still an awful lot still to fight for. I recommend How to be a Woman to every woman because even if you don’t change any of your habits, at least you know why you do them and who’s to blame for the unrelenting pressures that, as a female, you face everyday. You might even start calling yourself a feminist too.

Annika Allen, Co-Founder of The Colour Network

Rich Dad, Poor Dad-Robert T. Kiyosaki
This was the book that I was reading as I was on the brink of making the leap to start my own business and helped to enlighten me and give me that extra push. In Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Kiyosaki explains how to escape the “rat race” and achieve financial independence. His real dad was poor but worked hard to make money by chasing a higher salary while his entrepreneurial rich dad, who was his friend’s father was the one that inspired him and supplied him with the tools needed to secure financial freedom. Luckily, I’ve always been pretty good with money but this book did teach me the importance of financial literacy and formed the start of my collection of empowerment, self-help and educational literature and taught me to think out side the box when it comes to business and making money.

The Coldest Winter Ever-Sistah Souljah
The story follows Winter, the beautiful first born daughter of a drug dealer Santiaga who grew up in the ghetto of Brooklyn but moved to the suburbs. She’s vain, spoiled, selfish and when her dad goes to jail and all their bank accounts, valuables and property are seized she is left to fend for herself. Winter is resourceful and sharp has a knack for surviving but is also very stupid and naïve as well which eventually leads to her downfall.With so many young girls being seduced by vanity, celebrity life and money via social media and reality TV and with knife and gun crime escalating with youths being misguided by all of the glitz and glamour of the drug game, this is an excellent story to set them straight.I read this as a teenager and it was my first introduction to a black author and further emphasised to me the reasons why I wanted to be able to tell people’s stories through the work and writing that I do.  I was also fascinated with the author Sistah Souljah as she proved that one person can wear many hats and be successful at many things. She is a film producer, lecturer, novelist, former hip hop artist and social activist who isn’t afraid to speak her mind. As someone that also juggles more than one thing – although they are all centred around the creative industry – her spirit and drive for success and the impact she has made on the world inspired me and made me question the legacy that I will leave behind.

Check out: 7 books every career girl should read

 

I beg your pardon, Fay Weldon?

So over the course of this weekend feminist author Fay Weldon, 84, has been causing up a storm in the news with her controversial comments (to say the least) about women and men in today’s society.

Just to bring you up to speed on Fay-she is a best-selling author famed for her strong female characters in bestsellers like The Life and Loves of a She-Devil and The Cloning of Joanna May. This weekend she caused upset over comments that she made in a recent interview about women in society today. Fay made the following statements:

Men do more work and invent things and an all-woman society would have resulted in lots of nice cushions and no television “
“Women play the victim and now have it better than men”
“I think you can have two out of three – a family, a career and a love life – but very seldom three,”
“Career women may have a family but aren’t likely to have a love life because they are too busy.”

When I read this on Sunday I literally sat there on my sofa in silence for about 5 minutes to process all of these comments. I was in complete and utter shock as I could not believe such a prominent ‘feminist’ would say such things. I took a step back and began to analyse her comments and actually thought does she have a point about a few or is she completely bonkers?

Let’s start with her thoughts around women, babies and career.

“I think you can have two out of three – a family, a career and a love life – but very seldom three,”

“Career women may have a family but aren’t likely to have a love life because they are too busy.”

This quite frankly scares me. As a woman who has a busy career, I and many other women I know want to have children AND a loving relationship. What bothers me is that men seem to never have to deal with the risk of not having it all-but why is this constantly shoved down women’s throats? We don’t tell men to choose 2 out of 3 so why should women have to just because biologically we HAVE to give birth to children. Futhermore, how does this then translate to not being loved and not having a career?

I can tell you right now that I want all 3 and I think it is achievable. I do believe that women can have it all BUT not all at the same time. There will be times when maybe your career is on a low but your love life is amazing and vice versa- that is called life. I think what women need to be told is that 

“choosing your partner, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or however you roll, will be the biggest career decision you will ever make”

Those women who say you can’t have all 3 maybe just don’t have the right partner. If you are a Girl Boss you need to make sure you pick a supportive partner who is willing to share the load of family duties with you. Choose someone who is not going to expect you to do everything on your own and who you know will actually be a “partner” and you will be a “team”. Last time I remembered it takes two people to make a baby so why the hell should one person be expected to raise them? Why do we as women always have to choose and give up something?

“Men do more work and invent things and an all-woman society would have resulted in lots of nice cushions and no television”

This is bull-I spent about an hour today having a meeting with a pretty awesome FEMALE software engineer who is launching her own app tomorrow-certainly not a nice cushion. There are plenty of female engineers and tech gurus around the world, many who have invented so many great apps like Whitney Wolfe who co-founded Tinder or Angela Benton CEO of NewME Accelerator and is recognised as a one of the Internet industries influencers.

The problem is not that women have no skill at all-the issue is comments like these discourage young girls from entering careers in the Tech sector. Women should be making apps and products not cushions! (No offence to any designers who make cushions I love them)

“Women “play the victim” and now have “it better than men”

In a recent report published in 2016 by PwC it showed that women are likely to earn £300,000 less than men over their working lives.

In the UK the pay difference between what a man earns vs a woman is at 19%.

Fay, take several seats this is not better then men. If I am losing £300,000 over my working life I have been robbed.

Vanessa Sanyauke

Follow her on Twitter @vanessasanyauke

Picture Credit: The Guardian

References:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mothers-under-phenomenal-pressure-mothers-7689908

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/03/men-have-gender-changes-because-women-have-won-battle-of-sexes/

10 badass women you need to follow on Instagram

We bring you some #MondayMotivation courtesy of Instagram with 10 badass women we think you should follow for inspiration in your life, career and style.

Ayesha Curry

@ayeshacurry

ayesha

Ayesha is the wife to NBA superstar Steph Curry, Mother to 2 beautiful girls and a popular food blogger with her own TV show. We love her Instagram page because of her classy attitude, style, the love she exudes for her family and oh the tasty food recipes that make our eyes water

Susan Younis-Khobane

@msyou

susan

Susan is a vlogger and an Executive Producer/Marketing Manager for NBC Universal-she moved from the UK to work in Nigeria and South Africa for MTV/Viacom. Susan is now working in the UK and her page just inspires us to achieve our dreams in any country our hearts desire.

Denise Vasi

@denisevasi

denise vasi

 

Denise is a US actress, wife of Director Anthony Mandler and new Mum to daughter Lennox Mae. Her natural food and product lifestyle is inspiration for all of us who may feel we are too busy to live more consciously. Denise makes her own almond milk and her baby food from scratch! Impressive.

Gabrielle Union

@gabunion

gab

Gabrielle is a famous Actress (Bring it on, Think like a man, Bad Boys 2) and wife of NBA star Dwayne Wade. She is the ultimate fun girl and reminds us that girls can really have fun while kicking ass at work and in life!

Nicole Isaacs

@nicoleisaacs

nicole

Nicole is a former TV Producer for E! and travel blogger. Her Instagram page shares her enviable travels around the world and helps us remember that it is important for women to get out there and see some world; it is too beautiful not to.

Remi Ray 

@iamremiray

Remi

 

Remi Ray is a London based fashion designer who caters for plus size women. Remi just oozes confidence and is so comfortable in her own skin-she even makes us feel sexy and confident just from looking at her page. See for yourself!

Valeisha Butterfield 

@valeisha 

valeisha

 

Valeisha is the Head of Black Community Engagement for Google in the US , CEO of WEEN (Women in Entertainment Empowerment Network) and Author of The Girlprint. Valeisha is a political and social influencer whilst being a wife and Mother of one. She is the ultimate Girlboss.

Francesca Danmole 

@franniedee

frannie

 

Francesca is from London and works in Youth Participation and Development and as her Instagram bio states is a #womanonhismission. Her inspiring Instagram posts remind us all to live our lives with purpose.

Marjorie Harvey

@marjorie_harvey 

majorie

Marjorie is the wife of US Comedian Steve Harvey, Mother of 7 children and Founder of style blog The Lady Loves Couture. At 51 years old (no really she is 51) Marjorie is the woman we all want to be when we grow up! She exudes grace, class and impeccable style.

Letitia Hector 

@letitia.hector 

Letitia

 

Letitia is a UK actress famous for her role as Venus on Sky Living’s Venus vs Mars. Letitia’s Instagram page is filled with her fun vibes and whatever she gets up to she always seems to be having the time of her life! Reminds us to enjoy every moment

A day in the life of Sade Salami, Director of Fresh Strawberry

We hear or read about all these amazing Bad Ass, Girl Boss women and some of us may think ‘I wonder what a day in the life of a modern day go getter is like?’ Well, we have got you covered! We are excited to introduce a brand new feature, ‘A day in the life of’ where we sit down and find out what our favourite women in business really get up to on a daily basis.

To kick things off we spend the day with Sade Salami, Director of Fresh Strawberry & Executive Producer of Status London.

At the helm of Fresh Strawberry, a growing events management company (providing services to one of the biggest companies in the world) and a new reality series under her belt, the 33 year old has put adversity behind her and is today steadily climbing the ranks in the business world.

Sade put herself through college and university where she gained a degree in Media Arts with Music & Sound Recording and supported herself working in market research, which helped her to move out from the hostel system at the age of 20. It was a little while after her 25th birthday that the then aspiring entrepreneur decided to set up an events company which she registered as Fresh Strawberry Management.

Fast forward eight years to today, and Sade’s company Fresh Strawberry has successfully worked alongside some reputable names within the media, fashion and entertainment industries, from London Fashion Week, to the MOBOs and Screen Nation awards. For the last three years, Fresh Strawberry has provided corporate event management services to Google, working in-house with the UK marketing team.

What time do you usually get up?

I generally wake up at 6am everyday.

What is the first thing you do when you get up?

The first thing I do when I get up is to have a glass of water, put on some music and then I’m straight onto my phone to check emails. Then I’ll go through my to do list and see what meetings I have for the day and start sending emails once I’m dressed.

If I have a personal training session that morning, I’ll do my to do list after my workout.

What do you eat for breakfast?

Oats with water.

Describe your commute to work:

To be honest it’s really fast. I’m a Tube girl, so it takes me 15 minutes to get into either office, whether it be Pop Brixton or Google.

What is your schedule like between 9:00-12:00pm?

My schedule changes from day to day. However typically from 9:00- 12:00pm I will check in with my staff by having one to one sessions with them. We may even have our team meeting if we are not running an event that morning.

I will also use this time to go over all the priorities for our other upcoming events.

However if it is a Monday morning, a lot of things have to wait as it’s back to back meetings with my clients, my staff and social activities.

Fridays are a little different too, as I tend to be more relaxed, and try to have a casual catch up with members of staff to see how our projects are coming along.

What time do you have lunch and where do you go?

Lunch is between the hours of 12-13:00pm. Where I go for lunch really does depend on what office I’m in. If I’m working from Google, then I’ll stay there, where all I have to do is go down one floor. But If I’m in Brixton I’ll pop into one of the local Caribbean shops.

What is your schedule like after lunch until 5pm?

After I have a quick lunch I catch up with my colleagues. I may have more meetings to attend. After this I’ll be busy with operational work, staying on top of HR, finance and all other business activities.

So by the time it’s 5pm, I would check my to do list, tick off all the tasks that I have done for the day and have a review of where I’m at. Doing this gives me a sense of joy.

What time do you usually leave the office?

I try to leave the office between 7pm and 11pm depending on how busy we are. It can be later especially if we have an event on.

What do you do after work?

I normally go straight home after work and occasionally I’ll go to an industry event.

What do you have for Dinner?

It varies but it has to be quick and easy!

How do you wind down/de-stress once you get home?

I like to catch up on Facebook and Instagram. I might watch some YouTube videos or even catch up on a show or two, as I’m loving House of Cards, Scandal, Game of Thrones and How to Get Away With Murder.

What time do you go to bed?

I’m in bed for 11pm but I don’t tend to sleep till 1am.

Who would you like us to feature next? Comment below and we will make it happen!

Would you be happy being the main breadwinner?

A recent report from the IPPR think-tank, ‘Who’s breadwinning in Europe’ revealed that a third of British women were the main breadwinners in their family. Over the past few decades there has been a dramatic increase in the number of women who either earn more than their spouse or are single parents solely providing for their family. It got me thinking how do women feel about this? Would you be happy earning more than your partner?

A quick Google search about women who earn more than their partner’s revealed headlines such as ‘why earning more can poison a relationship’ and ‘how female breadwinners can change their relationships’. It’s true that this is an important factor to consider. No one thinks anything of a man supporting his wife financially, but turn the dynamic the other way round and it may cause problems.

On the plus side this could mean a chance to develop a whole new dynamic to your relationship and invent a family life that works for you. It’s a chance to challenge the norms and reverse traditional roles.

At one of our Girls Talk London events last year a partner at one of the big four accountancy firms revealed to us that she is the breadwinner of her family and she has no idea how to use a washing machine because her husband does all the domestic chores! We hear a lot of stories about very senior women who most often have children and have supportive spouses who are willing to take on the domestic role in the household and bring to life to the term ‘House Husband’.

Attempting to have it all as a women can be extremely challenging as we try to balance our ambitions of excelling in our careers with starting a family. You are faced with the prospect in some sectors that if you decide to have kids then it is even more challenging to rise to the top. For those that do both, there is the added pressure to excel both at home and at work. We often hear stories of working Mothers who have to deal with the guilt of missing pivotal moments in their children’s lives because of work.

There are lots of women in the Media who out earn their men from Oprah Winfrey, Jennifer Aniston, Tyra Banks, Supermodel Gisele and even Beyoncé! We can look to them for encouragement that it is okay and could actually be the new normal. However we do need to bring it back down to Earth because a majority of us are not rich celebrity millionaires. The majority of the women in the UK who are the main breadwinners in the family are actually single Mothers who are on low incomes. This brings attention to the two sides of main breadwinners- The successful executive and the struggling woman on a low salary. This just highlights the appalling inequality around female pay which is still around 20% in the UK.

Tyra Banksoprah and stedman

In short, it seems that being a female breadwinner is not too bad after all if you have a supportive husband or team (Nanny, extended family) However, if you are a single parent the stress and burden could be a challenge to say the least.

What do you think? Would you be happy being the main breadwinner? Leave your comments below.

Written by Helen Poole

Follow Helen on Twitter @HelenRoseP

 

Can women really have it all?

Today is International women’s day and to mark the theme of ‘Pledge for Parity’ we have asked Senior female executives who sit on the boards of FTSE 100 businesses and professional women is there a secret to having it all? If so what is it? These women give their honest and insightful opinions here:

Whilst I do not believe it is possible for any professional, whether male or female, to “have it all”, all of the time, I do believe it is possible for a woman to have both a very successful professional career and a very satisfying and rewarding personal life. However to achieve both, you have to be willing to be flexible, patient, make compromises (whilst not compromising your integrity), be prepared to make sacrifices on occasion and, most importantly, understand and prioritise what is most important to you at any particular time. Sometimes that sacrifice may relate to your career and sometimes it may relate to your personal life but it is important to understand that careers aren’t linear and they last a very long time – it’s ok at times in your career to focus on personal issues and it’s also necessary at other times to focus almost exclusively on your career. Just don’t lose sight of what your objectives and motivations are, understand why you are making sacrifices and remain positive.

Partner at a City law firm

There are so many images on social media celebrating women who look good, train hard, have successful careers, great relationships and are brilliant mothers. I think women feel pressurised to be superwomen and it’s just not realistic. What counts is knowing what it means to you to have it all. Once you understand what makes you tick, what makes you happy and what you are here to do, your life will be directed by those things. Take time to love and accept yourself for the amazing person that you are and to realise that it’s not worth sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of someone else’s ideals. Once you give yourself that gift, having it all will become second nature.

Legal and Insurance Professional 

If there was a secret I would gladly share it with you but I’m afraid there’s no magic formula – you have to work out what it is you want, what you are prepared to do to get it, and what balance (if any) you want in your life. I grew up in a council flat but I now sit on a Board of Directors with some amazing, intelligent and decent people who all went to boarding school and grew up with great privilege. How did I get there? Sheer determination, lots and lots of hard work, a desire to learn all the time and some personal sacrifices. By determination I don’t mean self-promotion, being political in my allegiances and demanding recognition – I have never asked for a promotion or a pay rise in my life. But if you find the right employer and you work hard you can shine bright. But first I need to tell you what “having it all” means for me. It means having a job that I love, getting paid well, but having enough time for my family. I am in such a privileged position today that we can afford for my husband to stay home and be a house husband and that makes my life SO much easier – I can concentrate on work, leave early in the morning without worrying about the school run, and I come home to clean clothes and a lovely cooked meal! But it hasn’t always been such a charmed existence. I worked throughout university and it was my work experience that got me my first job rather than anything I had learned (though having a degree got my CV through the filtering process). Once at work I studied for a professional qualification, in my own time, and I didn’t give up when it got difficult and I failed a couple of papers. When I was blessed with my pregnancy I worked until the day before my due date. I worked a bit through my maternity leave and went back full time when my son was just 3 months old. I cried every day of the last two weeks of my maternity leave but for financial reasons I had to go back to work full-time and I decided to start early so that my son knew no different. It worked really well for us because his nursery (plus help from family) contributed to him blossoming into a polite and caring boy with good manners and a natural inclination to share. My dedication to my job was rewarded a couple of years later when I was asked to join the main board and I continue to work hard but have some personal rules that help me to feel balance. While I start in the office early I nearly always run home at 5.30pm and enjoy an evening meal and cuddles on the sofa with my family. I make time for exercise and I treat myself to nice work clothes. Not everyone would want to do what I have done and I don’t blame them. The truth is you have to work out what you want for yourself and what you need to do to get it. Embrace the diversity of the workforce around you (for me that’s posh people) and never stop learning. If you try to be someone you’re not you will fail. Be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses, find something that suits you and be happy in the day you’re in now. You will never reach a stage of perfection but you can enjoy the progress. Oh, and marry someone that’s “man enough” to be a house husband!

Senior Executive in Insurance

I think that women are born as natural multi-taskers and therefore have the ability to balance many situations in their lives at one time. As a professional woman and mother of two, being extremely organised both at work and home would have to be top of my agenda on a daily basis and the key to success on having a good work/life balance. It also helps to have great support in both these areas and to keep the door of communication always open!

Legal Professional

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